An angel of a friend of mine saved my radio interview as an mp3 so I have it now! Unfortunately, I can’t post mp3’s on the blog because I refuse to pay for the ability to post music/videos. Sorry! But if you’d really like to hear it, send me your email and I’ll send it to you.
Have a beautiful day!
Unfortunately, I just realized that the link I had on my previous post with my on-air debut had been re-routed to another clip, presumably from the next week’s show. I apologize to anyone who clicked on it expecting to hear me who was unable to do so. Most unfortunately, I cannot seem to locate my clip now, so I guess neither myself nor anyone else will ever be able to hear me on the radio again. Bummer.
Okay, I admit it, I’m an attention whore. I love it, I crave it. I try really hard not to beg for it, but when there’s a chance to display myself in a way that I think will receive positive attention, I’m all about it.
I sing karaoke every chance I get. I have a decent voice, not amazing or anything, but in a room full of drunk people you’d think I was Kelly Clarkson or someone similar. Hearing the announcer call my name, walking up to the microphone, and waiting for those first few notes, yeah I feel nervous. But almost as soon as I start singing, I just feel happy. And when I put the microphone back on the stand, do my little appreciative wave and nod to the audience, and head back to my seat, I’m elated. On a “yeah, I just kicked ass” high. It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. Especially if my friends tell me I sounded good!
In high school I did a lot of community theater. My school didn’t have the funds or the interest for a real drama group or musical theater, so I participated in every community production I could find. Sometimes I worked backstage and sometimes onstage. I loved every minute of it. I loved the costumes and scenery and the audience and getting up on stage and feeling the butterflies in my stomach.
This past Friday I had the chance to display myself on another medium- radio! I signed up to be in the studio audience of a local morning radio show and the show’s host always chooses a few people from the audience to talk to on air based on questionnaires we had to fill out before hand. When I was filling out my questionnaire I thought there was no way they’d put me on the air- I’m so boring! But they did! And I think I did a pretty good job. I did sound nervous at the beginning, but it got easier, and they talked to me for a long time- almost 15 minutes.
So I walked into work today (for the ortho) and several of the employees at the dentists’ office where we go four times a month mentioned my fifteen minutes of radio fame! One of our patients had heard me and told her mom, who works for one of the dentists. She called the office and told the receptionist. And a different patient’s mother stopped before leaving and said “Were you the one on the radio?”
I may never be famous for writing or wedding planning or anything else. But I felt almost famous today, and it was kinda cool.
I’m not really into astrology, but I’ve always identified with my sign: Gemini, the Twins. My mother likes to say she never knows which of me she’s going to get: Happy, bubbly Rachel, or Sad, Angry, Snaps-all-the-time Rachel. Most days I don’t know myself which girl to expect.
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It’s a strange balancing act- trying to reconcile the two selves. Happy Rachel is motivated, enthusiastic, and yes, happy. Sad Rachel, well, she’s none of those things. She’s a downer, really.
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A couple of weeks ago, when I wrote about using 2011 to write a second book and my write-an-hour-straight every week challenge, I was Happy Rachel. I was excited and couldn’t wait to write. But I haven’t done any writing since then. I’ve been so busy with work that when I have had time, all I’ve wanted to do is relax- do nothing. It makes me incredibly sad that writing has come to feel like more work. It used to be a hobby, a passion. Something I did only for me. Now it’s like I’m trying to prove something to the world.
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I don’t know what’s changed, honestly, and therefore must attribute my inability to write to my destructive Gemini side. See, I used to write about really personal things- people would tell me all the time that the quality they liked most about my writing was its honesty: the way I put myself out there on the page without apology, without embarrassment. Well, maybe with some apology, but definitely without embarrassment.
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Well, lately I haven’t been writing anything personal because the personal things happening in my life involve other people and I haven’t wanted to splash their names or information all over the Internet. It’s nothing bad, not really, I’ve just learned that while I can be completely open with my own feelings and beliefs and actions without embarrassment, that might not be the case for everyone else. And I need to respect that others may not like my talking so freely about them, even though it has put me in a bit of a block, writing wise.
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I struggle a lot with wishing that things in my life were different while not really sure how to make different happen. Like with dating, people like to give me all kinds of advice, but the two major things I hear is “You have to stop looking,” and “You have to put yourself out there.” How do you stop looking and put yourself out there at the same time? Don’t answer that- it’s a rhetorical question. It’s just, I don’t know how to make my dating life different. I can’t force a guy to be interested in me or want a relationship with me. And I refuse to be anyone but myself. What’s the point in lying or pretending to like things I don’t in order to get a guy to like me- eventually he’d discover the truth, right?
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I’m at this point where I feel like I need to make major changes in order to get the life I want, but I feel guilty about what those changes mean. Mainly because I know that I’m going to probably have to leave one or both of my jobs and find one that actually pays decently. I’m so freaking stressed about work and I never feel like I’m off-the-clock. But I feel guilty because I know that both places depend on me and have done a lot for me. At the same time, though, it wouldn’t be the end of the world for either if I left. Which sucks. I like to be indispensable. I so rarely am.
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All this thinking about my life, career, dating, writing, making changes, made me think about the first piece I wrote back in March 2009 when this whole writing thing started. I checked, and I’ve never shared it on the blog, so I’m going to now. I don’t really want sympathy or advice, I want to get back to a place where I can write with honesty and share my deepest emotions without feeling self-conscious. Because that’s the only way I’m ever going to write a second book or have the courage to go after what I really want for my life.
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Average
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I felt a sudden panic seize me as the words left my mouth. I’d said these words before, to myself, to others as a joke. I’d only believed them half-heartedly before. Deep down, I’d always believed I couldn’t have such a strong desire for something I was destined to never have. And yet, tonight, as I stared into the mirror and said those words again, the truth behind them threatened to crush me. What is the point of living when you have no one to share your life with?
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I looked back at the mirror, trying to see something in my face. Something worth caring about, something worth hoping for. But I found nothing and the truth of my words stung as I said them a final time:
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“No one will ever love me.”
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Wow, what a melodramatic way to begin. But, this is honestly how I felt, how I feel. Sure, I guess I am still pretty young. Twenty-five isn’t exactly middle-aged. I know there are many people who will (who do) think I’m crazy for feeling so despondent that I am not blissfully happy with the love of my life. But they don’t see it from my perspective. How can they possibly understand how much my heart aches? It isn’t so much about the fact that I haven’t found “the one,” it’s more about the fact that I’ve found no one. No One.
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I guess you could say I’m average. I think it would probably be fair to say that I have always been average. It’s not hard to be average in childhood. You get along with most of your classmates, teachers, family, etc. You have friends- even close friends. Being an average child is not a bad thing. You find your niche. You grow in your interests, try and find something in which you are possibly above average. And maybe you find it and it takes you into your teen years.
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I found my niche. I did pretty well at school. I always had good grades. In elementary school, it never really occurred to me that other children didn’t have report cards that looked like mine- all A’s. My niche followed me through high school. And I did feel above average. I thought I was special. I had a knack for picking up what the teachers were talking about and understanding it. I never felt uncomfortable raising my hand to answer a question or putting off a paper until the last minute- I always knew it would be finished on time and be returned to me with a bright red A on the first page. I had friends and I was fairly happy.
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But at some point, the average person who thinks they are special is going to find out the truth. They are average.
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I didn’t truly discover this until my last year of college.
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I glided through the first three years. Almost perfect grades. Friends. Jobs. I was constantly busy, constantly feeling the pressure to be above average. And loving it. Senior year should have been great.
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But that’s when the rejection started coming. Friends who I loved, relied on, suddenly seemed to lose interest in me. (Had they, at this time, discovered my inherent averageness?) My plans for the future began to crumble around me. I had intended to go to law school, but my near-perfect grades weren’t good enough for the schools I wanted to accept me. (Was there something about my applications that screamed AVERAGE to the admissions committees who reviewed them?) I remember wanting to get out of the town as soon as possible. I felt like I didn’t belong anymore to the world in which I was living.
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All it takes is moving back in with your parents and working as the best-educated waitress at a local restaurant to realize how completely and utterly average and ordinary you are. There is no way to feel special when the thing that has made you feel special your whole life is suddenly gone.
I’ve been going back and forth with myself on whether or not I should post this, because it is part of my current WIP and I don’t want to jinx myself, but I feel like I need the opinions of others. I have a character profile for one of my MCs and I need to know if it sounds like a real person- not like some cut and pasted character from another book or movie- and if it feels consistent within itself. All thoughts welcome!
Profile for: Cara Renee Apple
Gender: Female
Race: Caucasian
Age: 25
Birthday: September 1, 1985
Astrological Sign: Virgo
Height: 5’5’’
Weight: 165 lbs
Basic Description: Good straight teeth, but not super special, think but not too thin lips- always wears gloss and chapstick. Prefers Clinique over commercial brands, shops at Sephora or Nordstroms for makeup. Has straight nose, not pointed, with slightly rounded tip. Smooth, naturally tan complexion. Wears moisturizer and sunscreen every day, washes her face every night, gets a facial twice a year. Never had freckles or moles, no scars on her face, but ½ inch scar under chin where she fell and cut it on a coffee table when she was 6. Heart-shaped face.
Hairstyle: dark brown, layered, a little past her shoulders, not thin or thick. Usually is frustrated by the lack of body and volume. Always wears it straight or pulled back in a ponytail or low bun. Doesn’t dye her hair. Dyed her hair once in high school and it turned bright orange- she’ll never try dying it again.
Eyes: 20-20 vision, dark brown, long, dark lashes but not thick
Body: approximately 30 lbs overweight, C cup breasts, almost a D cup. hates her body. tries to work out 2-3 times a week but struggles to motivate herself because she’s never seen weightloss results. Wears size 10 or 12 depending on the brand. Size 7 ½ shoe; has become very good at dressing for her body- enhancing her curves and minimizing fat and flab
Marks, Scars, Tattoos: Has a birthmark on her thigh shaped like a distorted flower. No other scars besides the one on her chin. No tattoos
Clothing: For work she wears business casual/ suits. She shops at Ann Taylor Loft but only buys clothes on sale- always looks nice- knows how to dress for her body- wears a lot of black, navy blue, and grey. On personal time, she sticks to jeans and fitted t-shirts, comfy boots or cute tennis shoes. Doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry- has a ring from her high school boyfriend which she occasionally wears, but just because she likes it, not really out of nostalgic attachment or residual affection for him
Birthplace: Wilmington, NC- Mom moved girls to the Triangle when she and dad divorced
History: Parents divorced when the girls were 5 and 8. Mom (Janice) remarried at ages 7 and 10. Cara looked up to Ashton when they were growing up, but when Ashton graduated high school and moved out of the house, Cara began to look out for herself more- was always independent, but missing Ashton in that brief period solidified it. Now she acts more like the older sister, taking care of Ashton and helping her out when she screws up.
Home: Lives in Durham- rents a townhouse- 2 bedroom 2 ½ bath. She’s very neat- pays her bills on time, always hangs her jacket/ coat in the closet when she gets home. Everything has its place, but she’s not one who freaks out when someone else makes a mess in her space.
Pets: None until Mr. D!
Personality: Very calm, very practical and rational, often told by Ashton to loosen up, but she’s capable of letting loose- just doesn’t around Ashton. She’s confident in her intelligence and skill as an employee, confident that she is generally right, but not sour when proven wrong. Enjoys a good debate- both being part of one and observing one. Speaks her mind, but usually softens any harsh judgments/realities. She can seem cold, pompous to someone who doesn’t know her, but she’s really warm and caring to her friends and family- it just takes a while to get to know her, to get her to open up
Likes: Tea, crime dramas and comedies, maps, making lists and checking things off those lists
Dislikes: coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, commercials- especially radio commercials
Fears: failure, being in debt forever, losing her mother and sister
Goals: to go to law school and be a corporate lawyer for a bank or big company
Hobbies: Reading, taking photos, scrapbooking
Occupation: Works as a personal assistant to a lawyer @ a prestigious law firm in downtown Durham. Duties include answering the phone, scheduling appointments and keeping track of his calendar, filing and typing briefs and other documents as well as general clerical work, pre-qualifying clients, and some light research. Has worked there since graduating college in May of 2007. Went to UNC, has a degree in business?? and minored in political science. Decided not to go to law school right out of college because she wanted to work at a law firm first to find out if she still wanted to be a lawyer- also, working for a few years would allow her to save money so she wouldn’t have to work through school or take additional loans out for living expenses.
Favorite Food: Potato soup
Least Favorite Food: red peppers
Most Prized Possession: a ceramic jewelry box given to her by her grandmother (her father’s mother). She doesn’t keep jewelry in it, though. She keeps mementos from her childhood: seashells from Wrightsville Beach collected on walks with her parents before they divorced; ticket stubs from favorite movies; photo booth pictures of her and Ashton; her first driver’s license.
Vernacular (Way of Speaking): Thinks very carefully before she speaks- never stumbles- never says “Um,” “Well,” or “huh.” Doesn’t use a lot of contractions. Ashton laughs at her for speaking like she’s got a stick up her ass. Cara doesn’t use a lot of swear words or make a lot of exclamations.
Character Behavior: precise- everything she does is done with purpose. She doesn’t get excited or confused easily.
Aptitude: Easily picks up on any problem and won’t stop until she finds a solution. Prides herself on her intelligence.
Social and Other Pressures, Problems: She’s shy in social situations- doesn’t know how to put herself out there to meet new people. Doesn’t particularly want to meet new people. Confident in the relationships she already has.
Relationships (With Who and What Kind): Most important is the relationship with her sister, Ashton. Though Cara acts like the oldest, she knows she isn’t and has a lot of deference for Ashton when it comes to family decisions (like what to get mom for her birthday). she loves her sister more than anything in the world and that’s why she often overlooks Ashton’s flakiness and flightiness when she wouldn’t overlook the same qualities in herself or others.
Relationship with her mother is strong. She values her mother’s opinion and often doesn’t make huge decisions without getting it, even if it differs from her own.
Relationship with her father is strained. She maintains it through email and the occasional phone call simply because he is her father and she’d feel guilty if she didn’t have some kind of contact with him. She never forgave him for the divorce, though she doesn’t really understand that this is the reason for their limited relationship. He has always wanted more, but she has turned down his attempts at closeness.
Relationship with B is growing. She has a great deal of respect for him- sees a lot of the qualities in him that she wants to see in herself or thinks she already sees in herself- determination, focus, hard working, honest. She doesn’t see that he has further interest in her other than employee and boss.
Belief, Superstition, Moral Value: Is not superstitious, but values hard work and honesty above almost anything. Slightly judgmental when people don’t live up to her high standards.
Positive Characteristics: She cares very deeply about her family. She’s a hard worker. she doesn’t over-react to negative situations, instead looks for the solution; wants to help others when given the opportunity
Negative Characteristics: Very strict in her ways of thinking, i.e. this is the right way, this is the wrong way. Needs to be right; can be judgmental; can appear to lack a sense of humor
I found myself crying today while visiting friends. I realize this really isn’t a new phenomenon, but I haven’t cried in over a month. Things had been going so well, but today, well, it was just a bad day.
Everyone has bad days. My friends were having a really bad day, too, so while I did feel a little guilty for crying and making a spectacle of myself in front of them, I didn’t feel as guilty as I normally would have because they understood that some days are just really crappy.
I don’t want to go into what made it a crappy day, it was a lot of things, really, but nothing of significance or importance. Nothing in my life is. I live the most mundane, insignificant existence of anyone I’ve ever known. But I thought writing it down and getting it out in the universe might help me feel better. Purge the crap, if you will.
Because I don’t want tomorrow to be a bad day. I hate being this person who is cranky and can’t focus on anything positive. So, deep breath. And another one.
I’m going to bed. Hopefully I won’t keep myself awake tossing and turning over the wretchedness of the day and my behavior and hopefully if I dream, it will be of Eric Bana, who I’ve decided is my new future husband. Good night and God bless you for reading this horribly self-indulgent pity-party of a post.
Unfortunately, I don’t pay for the right to post videos on my blog, so you’ll just have to follow this link to see the music video of Daniel Powter’s one-hit wonder “Bad Day”
I’ve already blogged about one goal I have for 2011- to write another book. I’m going to write another book this year, I’m going to write another book this year!
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But I have another goal, and one that will hopefully help me reach the goal above. I’m going to spend at least one hour a week doing nothing but writing. No laptop and internet, no phone, no ipod, just a pen and a notebook. I did it this past Saturday and it was amazing. I’m hoping that eventually I’ll be able to commit to one hour a day, but I know that while I have 2 1/2 jobs, that’s probably not possible. Eventually, the writing will be all story/novel focused, but this past weekend, and probably for the next several, it will be free-writing, plotting, and character sketching. Saturday’s hour really helped me tap into the idea I have for my next book and the time produce 12 notebook pages of notes, questions, thoughts, and chronology.
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I’m determined that I’ll be focused and prepared when I actually start writing this book. I want to be in a place where I want to write every moment of the day, a place where I cannot get the story or the characters out of my head. If this method works, maybe I’ll be able to go back to one of my earlier, unfinished ideas to revamp and finish it.
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I’m not going to include any notes about the concept I’m working on right now, because I don’t want to jinx myself, but I found the exercise so cathartic, that I want to share some of what I wrote during the exercise.
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I’m sitting in B&N and I’ve decided that for 1 hour, I’m going to write. It doesn’t have to be fiction, or a story or a poem. I just need to write to practice. To get back in the habit.
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I’ve set my alarm, So here we go.
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I just checked my spot on the shelf and came across a book only a few authors over called “29.” The blurb sounded interesting. I need to add it to my goodreads list. It’s almost fate-like that I’d see a book with such a similar title in a spot so close to where my book would be if it were published. But I don’t believe in fate, really. Because that would mean my sucky life was on purpose or something.
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Thinking about the book I’m going to write this year, I feel really connected to MDMD (title withheld for now- sorry! and no- it has nothing to do with doctors) even though I thought UN (sorry again!) would speak more to me. I think MDMD just has more plot and character opportunities. I hope so because I’m about to take the plunge.
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I’ve been reading The Weekend Novelist and when it gives tips or advice, sometimes I think about how I would use them on MDMD. I think I should just go for it. But I’m going to be prepared. I can’t just write willy nilly without knowing where the characters are going and who they are. I think the biggest problem I’ve had in the past is that I didn’t know who the characters were or I had too many of them for them to be unique and real. Not this time. I’m going to focus the story on 2 individuals again, but flesh out the personalities and back story of the secondary characters as well so I know who I’m working with.
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I need to get a timer so I can shut my phone off while doing writing exercises.
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(4 1/2 pages of story-centered notes skipped)
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Yay! another pen just ran out! (I know that seems weird, but I love writing with a pen until it runs out of ink.)
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I think the purpose of today’s exercise is to ask all the questions but not come to conclusions. I’ll make conclusions the nest time I spend an hour doing this. I wonder if I should share this exercise on my blog. I wonder how long it will be typed up or if anyone will be interested in reading it. Should I not give information on the book I’m working on until it’s ready for edit phase?
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(and the rest of the pages were all story and character centered)
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Does anyone have any suggestions for helpful writing exercises for me?
I’m going to write a second book this year. I’M GOING TO WRITE A SECOND BOOK THIS YEAR!
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I’ve been really slack about writing for at least the past twelve months. I lost all faith in myself and my writing abilities and I couldn’t seem to find a story where I liked the characters enough to want to get to know them. I kept telling myself that writing Twenty-Five was a fluke and that I’d never be able to write another book because I don’t have what it takes. That Twenty-Five was the only story inside me.
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But I’m determined. I want to write. I want to be someone and do something. I’m sick of feeling sorry for myself that I’m in debt and stuck in a dead-end job and living with my parents. When I was writing and editing Twenty-Five back in 2009, I felt like I was moving forward and doing something with my life. I don’t know why I let that momentum slip away. Fear of rejection and failure, I guess. Fear that the nagging thought of “I’m not good enough” would be confirmed.
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But that’s all bull shit. In the end it doesn’t matter if I’m never published or if no one else reads what I write. If I’m happy with it, if it makes me happy, then everything else is inconsequential.
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In order to boost this determination and momentum that I’m feeling right now, I’ve gathered some books and tools to help me make 2011 the year of my second novel.
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Candice at I Don’t Want To Write! posted a character profile a few days ago that I’m hoping will help me develop real, complex characters.
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I’ve started reading the weekend novelist by Robert J. Ray and Bret Norris and while I don’t plan to actually use it only weekend by weekend, so far it’s giving me some great tips on plotting and I’m only on page 34.
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Creating Unforgettable Characters by Linda Seger. I began reading this last year, but never finished. I think I found it too much work, honestly. But I know that’s what it takes to create an unforgettable character. Work. Hard Work. So I’m going to work harder.
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On Writing Well by William Zinsser. I haven’t read any of this book yet, but I’m excited to! It’s meant for nonfiction, but I think the techniques for writing good nonfiction are the same as writing fiction, but nonfiction is more difficult! Hopefully if I can master nonfiction than fiction will be a breeze!
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And for fun, I bought How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely. It’s a fictional account of how one man tries to become rich and famous by writing a best-seller. I wouldn’t mind being rich and famous (obviously) but I don’t think I ever will be. I bought the book because I’m hoping it will help me see writing with a more comical and lighthearted view and not take myself so seriously.
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I also plan on reading extensive fiction this year, classic and modern. You can be my friend on Goodreads to follow my progress. My screenname there is rach_elle19.
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I’m really excited to read My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares, which was recommended to me by my friend Jaclyn. (Maybe this mention will get her to finally COMMENT on my blog!) Here’s the blurb:
Lucy Broward is an ordinary girl growing up in the Virginia suburbs, soon to head off to college. As she prepares for her last high school dance, she allows herself to hope that this might be the night her elusive crush, Daniel Grey, finally notices her. As teh events of the night unfold, though, Lucy discovers that Daniel is much more complicated than she is imagined, and perceives that there’s something going on here that she really doesn’t understand. Why does he call her Sophia? And why does it make her feel so strange?
Daniel Grey is no ordinary young man. Daniel has “the memory,” the ability to recall past lives and recognize the souls of those he’s previously known. And he has spent centuries falling in love with the same girl. Life after life, crossing continents and dynasties, he and Lucy (despite her changing name and form) have been drawn together — and he remembers it all. It is both a gift and a curse. For all the many times they have come together throughout history, they have also been torn painfully, fatally, apart. A love always too short.
As we watch Daniel and Lucy’s relationship unfold during the present day, interwoven are glimpses of their history together. From 552 Asia Minor to 1918 England and 1972 Virginia, the two souls share a long and sometimes tortuous path of seeking each other time and again. But just when Lucy begins to awaken to the secret of her past, to understand her relationship to Sophia, and to understand the true reason for the strength of her attraction to Daniel, the mysterious force that has town them apart in the past reappears. Ultimately, they must confront not just their complicated history, but a persistent adversary as well, if they are ever to spend a lifetime together.
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Sounds pretty good, right (if you ignore the cliched language, which I really hope is from the publisher and not the author)? You guys know I’m a sucker for a love story.
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So everyone, please cross your fingers for me that I don’t crap out! I really want to write a second book this year. I’m GOING TO write a second book this year.
I was 16 years old when the clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00 on January 1, 2000. I was 26 years old at the New Year moment last week. Ten Years. A Decade. Amazing to think of the life events and milestones one goes through in that amount of time. And if you’ve been following my blog at all, you’ll know I love milestones.
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2000 I got my driver’s license approximately a month before the year 2000 began, got my first cell phone and first car, my older sister graduated high school, I took the SATs twice, and became really active in the local community theater.
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2001 9/11 happened during the first semester of my senior year of high school. I was in my AP US History Class, a class that was full of juniors plus me and my friend Kelsey. We had chosen to wait a year to take it because it was at the same time as our drama class junior year. On September 11th, all the juniors in our class were gone because there was a career fair at a different high school that they were attending, so the classroom was empty except me, Kelsey, and our teacher Ms. Messiano. Ms. Messiano had stepped out of the room for something and when she came back she turned on a radio and we listened to reports of the towers falling. I was 17 years old, but it took several hours before I realized the significance of the events we were listening to. By lunch, everyone in the school knew what had happened. My friends and I listened to more reports on the radio in my car and during the last period of the day, we looked up pictures and videos on the internet in the library. I’ve always been a bit naive, but I think the events of that day really showcased how clueless I was about the world. I, like most people, never could have imagined an act of such terror and violence occurring in my country and I still don’t understand it.
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2002 I graduated high school, turned 18, got drunk for the first time, and moved to Wilmington to attend college. I know, drunk for the first time after I’d graduated and turned 18. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was naive; I’ve been on the under-experienced side of things pretty much my whole life. Part of me really regrets that I didn’t get wild and crazy during high school, but mostly I’m glad. I don’t really enjoy being drunk and I kinda like that I’m not like every one else.
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2003 my younger sister graduated high school and my older sister got married, but I can’t think of anything else significant that happened that year.
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2004 my younger brother graduated high school and I moved into my first apartment with one of the most wonderful people I know, Kim Fern. I love her and miss her!
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2005 I turned 21 years old. It wasn’t a wild and crazy night. I remember I had a few drinks, but I don’t think anyone else did and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t drunk. The main thing I remember about it is that my roommate (Brad- Kim had graduated and moved home to Maryland) and his girlfriend broke up and he came into my room upset and I had to comfort him. Happy Birthday to me.
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2006 I graduated college, applied to and decided not to go to law school, and moved back home to Burlington to try and decide what I was going to do with my life.
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2007 I moved to Raleigh and took a semester of graduate level English courses as a lifelong education student. I loved those classes. Really really loved them. I wanted to apply to grad school and get a Master’s in English. I started studying for the GRE and looking into colleges with good programs, but the expense of taking the tests and actually applying to school was too much. I could have gotten loans to actually attend school, but I didn’t have the money to apply to school. It sucked. My younger sister also graduated college this year.
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2008 I began an internship with a wedding coordinator which led to an apprenticeship and eventual coordinator position with another company. I earned my Association of Bridal Consultants Novice Wedding Consultant distinction and coordinated my first wedding as a lead consultant. My brother graduated college. I moved back to Burlington, but continued working in Raleigh and Durham.
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2009 I wrote a book. I turned twenty-five years old. My younger sister got married. I completed my first full-service wedding (meaning I helped the couple plan the event from start to finish, rather than just coordinating what they already had planned). I started my blog.
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2010 Honestly, not a lot happened this year. I mean, a lot did, but not a lot that I’ll remember in another decade’s time. The most significant thing was probably the birth of my best friend’s daughter, Gracyn. I love that little girl so much! She’s the most adorable, most loveable, sweetest, happiest, smartest baby I’ve ever encountered. I had a lot of hopes for 2010, and while I don’t think any of them were fulfilled, I still had a fairly happy year. I’m not completely satisfied with where I am in life, but I feel more contentment now than I have in a long time. I know that someday I’ll go back to school and get that Master’s in English. I know someday I’ll be a full-time wedding consultant. And I know that someday I’ll hold a bound-copy of my book in my hands, even if it’s through self-publication. I don’t really want to make 2011 New Year’s Resolutions, because I can’t imagine that I’ll actually follow any of them, but I have more hopes. I hope that I’ll gain more confidence in myself and my writing so that I can pursue the path to publication and possibly writing a second book (or finishing one of the ones I’ve started!). I hope that I’ll put myself out there a little more and make new friends and date more people so I don’t feel so alone in this world all the time. I hope that I’ll continue to grow professionally and financially, so that I can get closer to being out of debt and closer to going to grad school.
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I hope that you all have a fantastic 2011!
I Picked Up a Pen One Day... 