I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I last posted! I’ve been busy, which is nothing unusual, and I just haven’t given much thought to writing the past two weeks.
I hate that.
But sometimes I don’t have control over everything in my life. It kinda sucks, but it’s kinda okay too. Okay because I’ve been working with a lot of wedding clients and I’ve been hanging out with some friends and, you know, actually having a life!
I thought about writing today, though. First, at work, I had a minute or two of downtime here and there and I started created a family tree for my next project (A serial story about Family Dynamics- get ready for it!), then, I was in Barnes and Noble for a brief second and I couldn’t stop myself. I went to the Fiction and Literature section and glanced at the titles. I found my way to the H’s. I found the spot where my book would be if I ever get published.
Is it weird that I do this? Because this isn’t the first time I’ve looked for where my book belongs in a bookstore. (And just for the record, I’d be to the left of Seeing Stars by Diane Hammond- in case you don’t know my awesome last name.) It’s motivating to me. The idea that maybe, possibly, someday I could walk in a bookstore and when I find that spot on the shelf my book will actually BE there. It’s a pipe dream, I know. But maybe. Just possibly.
I got a review on TNBW the other day for my poem “Observations in Ten Minutes” in which the reader/reviewer asked if I’d ever thought of publishing my poetry. Of course I have! I’ve thought about it and dreamed about it. But I haven’t really done much to make it happen. I know I need to. I need to send out queries and letters and let the publishing world know that I exist. But when? When’s the right time? I don’t think I’m ready. I want to be. But I don’t think I am.
I read a few poems I wrote in high school last night. Oh my God were they awful. TERRIBLE. I can’t believe I ever thought they were good (which, PS, I did). What if I think the same thing about the stuff I’m writing now, the novel and short stories and poetry I’ve written over the last year and a half? I want my best work out there. I don’t want to put my name on something that isn’t perfect.
And therein lies another problem. It will never be perfect. Even books I LOVE have moments of terrible writing (Jane Austen being the obvious exception). So do I take the chance now that someone will see the brilliance in my work (not that my work is brilliant by any means, but I think you know what I’m going for) and overlook the horridness? Or do I spend another year or so editing and perfecting, making it better? I feel like life is too short for that. I need more time though! I started a round of edits on Twenty-Five, but I think I only got through chapter 6 or so. I’ve been so exhausted in the evenings and busy on the weekends, I haven’t gone back to it.
Okay, seriously Rach. Enough whining. Just do it!
It’s the only way you’ll ever get anywhere- you can’t move forward by standing still.
So I guess I’ll be getting off my ass now.
And a little thing that makes me happy: Getting comments from People who read my blog! (HINT HINT!)
Quick Update on the Trifecta of Milestones approaching:
This is my 92nd post.
I’ve had 4,895 views to date.
And there are 6 weeks and 4 days left until my One Year Blogiversary!