The End of My Twenty-Fifth Year

It’s June.  I can’t believe it’s June.  It’s JUNE 13TH!!!!

June used to be the month I looked forward to.  As soon as the calendar hit June 1st, I’d start the countdown to my birthday (6 days counting today and the actual Birth Day, in case you were wondering).

I loved my birthday growing up.  I loved having a day that was all about me- where I got to pick the restaurant and sit in the front seat and the cake had MY name on it.  Who doesn’t like that?

Birthdays are a lot less magical as you get older.  And I’m not saying I’m old.  In fact, I still FEEL very young.  But I can’t deny the fact that I am getting older every day.  We all are.

It’s going to be very difficult to say goodbye to my Twenty-fifth year.  As you’ve probably learned by now, I’ve built it up in my mind as the year things were supposed to change- where I was finally supposed to become something, someone.

I can’t say exactly why the age Twenty-five has such a powerful hold on me, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t.  I actually wrote my novel when I was twenty-four, but I’ve spent my entire twenty-fifth year revising it and trying to see if I have what it takes to be a real writer and I’ll always think of my twenty-fifth year as the year I created my first book.

And it’s almost gone.

And I’m no closer to being someone special than I was a year ago.

Or am I?

I’ve grown this year.  Taller, no.  Wider, possibly.  But mostly in taking control of my life.  I write my blog- I share myself with the world.  I quit my job and found one that pays better and doesn’t make me want to kill myself at the end of the day.  It still isn’t my dream career, but it enables me to work towards my dream career a little more.  I actually went out on a couple of dates this year!  None of them led to anything, but they were still more than anything else in the past six years or so.

I can’t truthfully say that I’m happy with where I’m at in life.  But.  I can say that I’m happier than I was a year ago.

And that has to count for something, right?

7 thoughts on “The End of My Twenty-Fifth Year

  1. “I can’t truthfully say that I’m happy with where I’m at in life. But. I can say that I’m happier than I was a year ago.”
    That says it all! Good for you and whatever you’re doing, I say it’s working so keep on doing it!
    Every year, a few days before my birthday, I start asking myself the same questions; what has changes, what had happened this past year, am I and different? If I am, is it for the better or for the worst? Truth is some years I take a step backwards more than I take a step forward but at the end of the year if I can say that I am happier than I was a year ago, then I know I’m on the right track 🙂
    Happy Happy Early Birthday Rachel 🙂

  2. It does sound like you have grown during the year. As you know, writing is time consuming and yet you’ve managed to complete a novel. That’s a lot more than a lot of other people have done. That counts for a whole lot in my book.

    1. Thanks Joy. I know it counts for a lot, it means so much to me that I was able to write something like Twenty-Five. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish a second one at some point in the next fifty or so years of life!

  3. It counts for a lot! I hope you had a great birthday, and trust me, once you escape from what society dubs as a “milestone” year, you will feel much more free and much more happy…TRUST ME 😀

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