Books

My Spot on the Shelf

| rachelhamm

I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I last posted!  I’ve been busy, which is nothing unusual, and I just haven’t given much thought to writing the past two weeks.

I hate that.

But sometimes I don’t have control over everything in my life.  It kinda sucks, but it’s kinda okay too.  Okay because I’ve been working with a lot of wedding clients and I’ve been hanging out with some friends and, you know, actually having a life!

I thought about writing today, though.  First, at work, I had a minute or two of downtime here and there and I started created a family tree for my next project (A serial story about Family Dynamics- get ready for it!), then, I was in Barnes and Noble for a brief second and I couldn’t stop myself.  I went to the Fiction and Literature section and glanced at the titles.  I found my way to the H’s.  I found the spot where my book would be if I ever get published.

Is it weird that I do this?  Because this isn’t the first time I’ve looked for where my book belongs in a bookstore.  (And just for the record, I’d be to the left of Seeing Stars by Diane Hammond- in case you don’t know my awesome last name.)  It’s motivating to me.  The idea that maybe, possibly, someday I could walk in a bookstore and when I find that spot on the shelf my book will actually BE there.  It’s a pipe dream, I know.  But maybe.  Just possibly.

I got a review on TNBW the other day for my poem “Observations in Ten Minutes” in which the reader/reviewer asked if I’d ever thought of publishing my poetry.  Of course I have!  I’ve thought about it and dreamed about it.  But I haven’t really done much to make it happen.  I know I need to.  I need to send out queries and letters and let the publishing world know that I exist.  But when?  When’s the right time?  I don’t think I’m ready.  I want to be.  But I don’t think I am.

I read a few poems I wrote in high school last night.  Oh my God were they awful.  TERRIBLE.  I can’t believe I ever thought they were good (which, PS, I did).  What if I think the same thing about the stuff I’m writing now, the novel and short stories and poetry I’ve written over the last year and a half?  I want my best work out there.  I don’t want to put my name on something that isn’t perfect.

And therein lies another problem.  It will never be perfect.  Even books I LOVE have moments of terrible writing (Jane Austen being the obvious exception).  So do I take the chance now that someone will see the brilliance in my work (not that my work is brilliant by any means, but I think you know what I’m going for) and overlook the horridness?  Or do I spend another year or so editing and perfecting, making it better?  I feel like life is too short for that.  I need more time though!  I started a round of edits on Twenty-Five, but I think I only got through chapter 6 or so.  I’ve been so exhausted in the evenings and busy on the weekends, I haven’t gone back to it.

Okay, seriously Rach.  Enough whining.  Just do it!

It’s the only way you’ll ever get anywhere- you can’t move forward by standing still.

So I guess I’ll be getting off my ass now.

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And a little thing that makes me happy: Getting comments from People who read my blog! (HINT HINT!)

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Quick Update on the Trifecta of Milestones approaching:

This is my 92nd post.

I’ve had 4,895 views to date.

And there are 6 weeks and 4 days left until my One Year Blogiversary!

The Books I’ve Read This Year, Part 1

| rachelhamm

My original intention was to keep a list of all the books I read this year and post it sometime the last week of December, but for some reason, I started writing why I’d read what I read or if I enjoyed it or not, etc. and the draft starting getting really long.  I thought to myself- no one is going to want to read this mindless list by the end of the year- it will probably double in size and be impossible to get through!  So, to save my readers the hassle of a really long, boring, mind-numbing post, I’ve decided I’d go ahead and post January through June.  I read 17 books, which considering all the shit I’ve been going through with changing jobs and weddings and basically hating myself and my life, is a lot.

The Smart One and the Pretty One: Read for the first time. Finished 1/10/10.  I’ve discovered a wonderful new author with this book.  See my post about Judging a Book By Its Cover for how I found this book and see my review of the book here.

Persuasion: Read for the twentieth or so time.  Finished sometime in February.  Tied for my second favorite Austen classic with Emma.  I am totally Anne Eliot in many ways.  I’m more like her than Elizabeth Bennet, which is probably why Pride and Prejudice is my first favorite!

The Jane Austen Book Club: Read for the second time.  Finished 3/4/10.  I actually like the movie version better than the book version.  Weird.  I think the movie version does a better job of incorporating the discussion of Austen’s books than the book does.  However, they made some stupid plot changes in the movie that would have been better left alone- isn’t that always the case?

Knitting Under the Influence: Read for the first time.  Began and Finished 3/5/10.  I loved this book!  Sometimes the characters will come into my head for no reason at all and I want to re-read it, but I’m trying really hard to read new books!  For more of my thoughts, see my review of the book here.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Read for the fifth time.  Finished 3/26/10.  Obviously the reading new books thing didn’t quite work out for me.  I blame ABC Family.  They showed a couple of marathon weekends with scenes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and it really made me want to read the whole series again.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Read for the fifth time.  Finished 3/28/10.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Read for the fifth time.  Finished 3/30/10.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Read for the fifth time.  Finished 4/2/10.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Read for the fifth time.  Finished 4/4/10.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Read for the fourth time.  Finished 4/5/10.  I have to make a comment here.  This book is so freaking good.  I think it has just replaced Goblet of Fire as my favorite in the series.  I cried through like the last 10 chapters.  It packs such an emotional punch.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Read for the third time.  Finished 4/8/10.  This is one of the best series ever written.  If you don’t agree, well, I just don’t know what to say to you.  Except that you are insane.

Alphabet Weekends: Read for the first time.  Finished 4/13/10.  I was disappointed.  This should have been a good book, it had all the elements for a book I would like.  British characters.  Romance.  Complicated relationships.  Interesting and fun activities.  But.  It failed me.  See how, here.

Dear John: Read for the first time.  Finished 4/15/10.  More telling than showing, but I still blubbered like a little baby.  Now must see the movie.  I love Amanda Seyfried, and Channing Tatum is hot.

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister:  Read for the first time.  Finished 5/2/10.  Has restored my faith in Gregory Maguire, a little.  I LOVED Wicked when I read it a couple of years ago.  So I bought the sequel, Son of a Witch, and another of Maguire’s, Mirror Mirror.  Son and Mirror were huge disappointments.  They just weren’t captivating like Wicked was.  I didn’t enjoy the style of the writing or the storylines, and Mirror ending up going absolutely nowhere.  But Confessions was much better.  It wasn’t as intriguing and page-turning as Wicked, but it was much closer and I felt satisfied after reading it.

By the Time You Read This: Read for the first time.  Finished 6/2/10.  I bought this book at Target right before my trip to Disney because I realized that I hadn’t brought any books with me for the plane ride.  It was pretty good.  The beginning was a little annoying because the author would show what was happening and then say what was happening.  Very redundant.  But that dwindled out after a few chapters, so I wonder if it was stylistically on purpose to show the growth and maturation of the character (who began the book at age 12 and ended at age 30).

206 Bones: Read for the first time.  Finished 6/23/10.  I love Kathy Reichs and all of the Temperance Brennan novels.  Here’s what I like most about them: the author doesn’t try and get fancy with flowery prose and descriptions that take you an hour to read and understand.  She just tells the story.  She gives background where necessary and gives just enough description so you can envision the scene, but SHE TELLS THE STORY!  Love it.

And a little thing that makes me happy: Laughing aloud to a funny moment in a book and not caring if people think I’m crazy for laughing to myself.

Starting with Action…

| rachelhamm

When I was workshopping Twenty-Five on TNBW, several reviewers told me I needed to delete the opening scene and jump straight into the action.  So many reviewers in fact, that eventually I broke down and listened to them.  And I didn’t have second doubts about following that advice until I got my rejection from Scott Eagan.  He said that there was a lack of character development.  I wondered at the time if my character development suffered because I deleted the opening scene.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately.  I’ve read 13 books since the start of the year.  And not a single one of them starts off going straight into the action.  Granted, one is Jane Austen and no books from the early nineteenth century started with action (at least none that I’ve read), but the other 12 are all late twentieth or twenty-first century.  So….  My thoughts on that are that maybe I don’t need to start with action immediately.  Maybe that’s just a rule they throw out in writing workshops and on agent blogs because it sounds great in theory and because books that do it well, do it great.  But it doesn’t make sense for my romance novel which is based around the characters and not around what happens.

I took a couple days and re-read my MS.  Again.  And I really noticed the lack of character development at the beginning.  I was shocked, honestly.  I never thought that was a problem I had.  I assumed the biggest problem with Twenty-Five was that the plot wasn’t unique enough, which is still a problem when it comes to writing the query, but I actually think it kinda works for this book.  Anyways, my point was, it looks like you can’t listen to everything reviewers say.  Now, I’m not stupid or vapid or naive enough to believe that if I add that scene back in it’s going to magically fix my character development problem.  The opening scene is going to need a lot of editing and the action scene is going to need a lot of editing to make it work with the opening.  It’s going to be a lot of work.  But I believe in this book.  And I know I’ve said that a million times.  But I do.  So I’m going to do the work and I’m actually kind of excited about it.  It kind of makes me sick at the same time, but I’m going to focus on the excitement.

Irritated and Inadequate in North Carolina

| rachelhamm

Dear fellow Bloggers,

I’m slightly irritated.  I know, big shocker.  I tend to get irritated at the drop of a hat, but at least I recognize that about myself, right? Possibly why I’m still single?  But I digress…

Okay, so why am I irritated?  I just finished reading a book.  I both enjoyed the book and hated it.  Isn’t that the worst?  I enjoyed it because I was rooting for two of the characters and really wanted a love story for them.  I hated it because it did all the things we aspiring writers are told not to do and did not do them in a way that made me say, “Well, if you’re going to break the rules, do it like that.”  It broke all those rules and did it in way that I was annoyed throughout most of the book thinking, I SO would have loved to critique this book before it went to the agent, maybe then there’d be fewer instances of POV head-hopping, information backstory dumps, more explanation of what certain things that may not be familiar to the entire world are, and a helluv a lot more character depth, growth, and development.

This particular book was the third one published by this author.  I wonder if the glaring rule-breaking was present in her first book.  I wonder if she was able to get the first book past agent gatekeepers with these same really annoying elements.  Actually makes me want to read the first book.  Isn’t that weird?  But my point is, that I think it’s so much easier once you have an agent and you’ve had other books published to produce a mediocre book.  Why weren’t the obvious instances of POV head-hopping addressed before this book was published?  My guess is because it didn’t go through as much editing before it went to the agent and publisher.  Because the author already had the agent and publisher.

And of course, thinking this way about a book that I’m holding in my hands and reading makes me think about my own book.  Makes me wonder if I’ll ever have the courage to attempt another round of queries, if I’ll ever be able to hold it in my hands, bound, with a cover bearing my name as the author.  I think that it should be out there in the world, that it would make people happy to read it.  But I can’t pluck up the courage to sit down, write a query, and send it out.  I believe the book is good.  I know that the only thing holding me back is me, I’m just not really sure why I’m holding myself back.  Isn’t that what cripples most people in pursuing their dreams?  Themselves?  What am I afraid of?  Being told I’m not good enough, I think.

In all honestly, I think that fear has plagued me my whole life.  The fear of being inadequate.  And yet, I make myself inadequate by not just going for it, by not believing that I AM good enough.

I told that story the other day about the waiter who hit on me and I tried to make it funny, because when I step back and think about it, it really was funny.  But the truth is, I didn’t find it that funny when I wrote about it.  When he told me I was beautiful, my first instinct was to laugh and immediately dismiss it as a joke.  I certainly didn’t feel beautiful and couldn’t really understand why he would say that.  The more I thought about it the less funny it became.  When I left the restaurant and got into my car, I imagined telling people what had happened and my next thought was that no one would believe me.  Or that people would believe that it had happened, but not that the guy actually meant what he said.  I did tell a few people, I guess in the hopes that they wouldn’t have that reaction, and no one did.  And you know what my next thought was?  That they did have that reaction internally but were keeping it to themselves.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE?

I’m never going to have confidence in myself if my brain automatically goes to that place where I can’t believe it when someone says something nice about me.  I’ll always be “not good enough” if I don’t allow myself to be good enough.  I don’t know why I’m sharing this with the world, if indeed the few people who read this blog can be considered the world.  I guess because I write now.  Even if sometimes it does make me feel inadequate.  And maybe writing this will force me to be good enough for myself so that I can take my book, that I spent a year pouring my heart into, and actually try and get it into the hands of someone who can make it good enough for the world.

Sincerely,

Irritated and Inadequate in North Carolina

God, I love to read…

| rachelhamm

I really really really love how a good book makes you forget you are reading and makes you say, “Oh, I’ll do it in the morning,” when you realize you were supposed to pack over an hour ago, and even though you KNOW you are not a morning person.

I am really not a morning person.  And I really was supposed to pack my bag for Saturday and Sunday in Fayetteville, including one visit to church, which means ironed clothes, not just something I pull out of the laundry basket (the clean one, that is), and one night out with a friend of my friends which means clothes that look like I put some thought into them, not just something I pull out of the laundry basket (yes, still the clean one).  But instead of ironing and packing tonight, I read.  I read a book I could not put down.

And truly, I forgot I was reading.  I was just immersed in the life of the characters: watching them, easedropping on their conversations, praying for that kiss right along with them.  God, I LOVE a good book!  And this was just a DAMN good book.

Funnily enough, it was a book I never would have read if I hadn’t started writing.  It was the second book of Claire LaZebnik’s (both the second she published and the second I read, though I read her last one first and still have read the first one): Knitting Under the Influence.  I honestly have not been so mesmerized by a book since Pride and Prejudice or Harry Potter.  And yes, I feel no shame in putting Pride and Prejudice and Harry Potter in the same league.  Both excellent, wonderful, beautifully written stories.   But back to Mrs. LaZebnik.  I only found her because I was looking to support other authors, as you may remember from my post about Judging a Book by It’s Cover.  And today, I was sitting in Barnes and Noble, typing away the handwritten pages I had collected over the past week for TDE and I needed to use the restroom.  On the way back to my table, I happen to walk through the aisle where I found The Smart One and The Pretty One back in January.  And lo and behold, right there beside it, Knitting.  It wasn’t there last time.  I liked Smart/Pretty, but I LOVED Knitting!  And I never would have thought to pick it up in the bookstore if I hadn’t written my own book and wanted to support other people out there like me trying to “live the dream.”

You want to know something else that’s funny?  Immediately upon completion, I felt the urge to write.  I was literally compelled.  I said out loud, “I need to write,” grabbed a notebook from the bed/nightstand beside me, fumbled around in my laptop bag for a pen and started journaling.  It probably would have been more productive if my immediate desire had been to work on TDE, but all writing is practice, even if it is just writing for yourself, to work out your own feelings. (And I know you are all probably scratching your heads about the bed-slash-nightstand thing, but take my word for it, you don’t want the long explanation.)

Also, and this is pretty hilarious, my mom walks into my room at some point looking for something and she asks what I’m reading.  I show her and she says, “I think I’ve read that.”  I’m all like, “Okay, whatever,” and go on with my reading.  About half an hour later she comes back in with a list in her hand and asks me the author’s name.  I tell her, she finds it on her list and reads off the title.  Yep, she’s read it.  She owns a copy!  She bought it at a yard sale!  But, if she had ever asked me to read it, I probably would have said no.  I don’t know why, but I don’t like to read books that other people tell me to read.  I just re-read this and realized it doesn’t sound hilarious, but I still find it amusing, personally.

And now it’s past midnight, I’m all jacked up on my reading-a-good-book high, I still haven’t packed, and still have no desire to pack.  Guess I’ll just be running late in the morning.

What I’m Reading in 2010

| rachelhamm

I have to add three books to my reading list for the year:

11.) Push by Sapphire
12.) Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire
13.) The Smart One and the Pretty One by Claire LaZebnik

(Okay, so technically, I’ve already read #13- but I read it in 2010, so it counts!)

Book Review: The Smart One and The Pretty One

| rachelhamm

I promised I’d let you know how I liked the book from my Barnes and Noble bookshelf browsing experiment, so here it is!

I just finished the book about an hour ago. The biggest compliment I can give it is that the characters were SO REAL. I mean it. I immediately related to both sisters, Ava with her belief that she is always second best to her sister in the looks department while priding herself in her intelligence and non-chalant about looks attitude (yeah, right!), and Lauren who’s up to her ass in debt , but ignores the situation because she just isn’t ready to deal with her own failings.

My biggest complaint about the book is that some of the situations seemed a little too convenient. Lauren calls a man who her family knew when she was a small child, but who she hasn’t seen or talked to in twenty-some years and he’s more than happy to meet with her and her sister, without question or hesitation? I don’t quite buy that, but I liked Russell, so I’m kinda glad that he doesn’t exactly play by the rules of modern social interactions.

My second biggest complaint is that the book ended too soon! There is still so much I want to know about the characters!

I know a book is good when I get lost in it. That’s what happened with this book. I started reading it around 9:00 pm on Saturday night and didn’t stop. At 1:46 am, my mother came in my room “You still up?” I had completely lost track of time and gone 3/4ths of the way through the book. With the TV on the whole time! The book just sucked me in!

I have to admit, it was really nice to read a book where I wasn’t looking for typos, grammatical errors, or awkward sentences. Lately, all I’ve been reading have been works in progress on TNBW, so I am constantly in “review mode.” But I was able to turn my inner editor off for this one and really just get swept up into the story.

I liked that the book dealt with a family I felt could live down the street from me and that the issues they were dealing with (sibling rivalry, sisterly affection, a parent with cancer, debt, loneliness and romantic troubles) were all sincere, real life issues. No end of the world in sight and no one acting like any of their problems were going to cause the downfall of humanity. It was simple and sweet and truthful.

I’m so glad I choose to buy it!

Bookshelf Browsing- Why Judging a Book By Its Cover is Totally Okay by Me

| rachelhamm

I read somewhere that writers aspiring to be published should

(A) Read as many books in the genre they are writing in as possible

and

(B) Support other beginning (or non-famous) authors by buying their books.

Well, if you’ve been reading my blog regularly you’ll know my financial situation as of late hasn’t really allowed me to purchase many books (or any at all), so I’m dreadfully out of touch with what is out there in book world right now.

For Christmas I received a couple of gift cards for Barnes and Noble 🙂 and I decided I should use them to go out there and fulfill A and B.  Okay, so I can’t really fulfill them, the gift cards aren’t bottomless, but I can do something small.

So I browsed the shelves at my local B&N for a while today.  My goal was to find a book where the genre wasn’t formulaic romance but had a romantic storyline.  I also wanted to find an interesting title and, if possible, I wanted a book by a first-time author (well, first time published).

I got 2 out of 3.  The book I choose is called The Smart One and The Pretty One by Claire LaZebnik. The title immediately caught my eye, though it was on the bottom shelf, as did the cover.  (I tried to find a picture of the cover online to add here, but none that I found were downloadable, so I’ll have to describe it to you, sorry!)  It has a plain white background, a stack of books and a bright pink purse sitting on top of the books.  The “Pretty” in the title is written in a pink cursive font while the rest of the title is written in a straight, brown print.

I know the old adage goes: don’t judge a book by its cover, but I can’t help it.  I’m a FIRM believer in judging books by their covers.  At least for selecting ones to buy.  This cover told me SO much about the story even before I read the back jacket.  I assumed that I hadn’t just picked up a crime or mystery thriller, that the main characters would be female, and that the dynamics of their relationship would be affected by their status as either “smart” or “pretty.”  And obviously, the choice of books present on the front cover drew me in because I love an MC who reads.

Then, I turn the book over and I find it fits the genre specifics I want!  It’s about 2 sisters, one who, I must admit, sounds A LOT like me (another reason I eventually choose to purchase the book- that whole, relating-to-the-MC factor).  I assume this is the “smart” sister.  The sister I assume is the “pretty” sister tries to set “smart” sister up with an (quoting from the back jacket here) highly inappropriate, twice-divorced, but incredibly charming guy.

I’m hooked!!!

It didn’t meet my first novel criteria, the author has 4 other books published, however, The Smart One and The Pretty One was the only book of Mrs. LaZebnik’s on the shelf at B&N. (Well, the fiction shelf at least, 2 of her books are non-fiction, I think.)

I’m very excited to read the book and let everyone out here in the blogosphere know how my experiment worked.  I have one gift card left, so after I finish it, I’ll go on the hunt for another hidden treasure.

I encourage everyone to try this experiment out for themselves.  Even if I don’t end up liking the book, the hunt for it was a bit thrilling and gives me the hope that someday (maybe, keep your fingers crossed!) someone out there will be browsing the shelves at their book store of choice and just happen to spot MY book, pick it up, and feel compelled to buy it.

After writing the above, I googled The Smart One and The Pretty One to see if I could find a website to link to for anyone interested in learning more about the book.  I found Claire LaZebnik’s blog!  It’s linked above to the page for the book, but I’m going to link it here to her homepage as well and I’ll be adding her to my blogroll.  I feel like I’ve found a kindred spirit.  After google sent me to the page on her blog for the book, I clicked on the homepage and her latest blog entry is about her love of Jane Austen and how she feels connected with her through a very personal experience in her own life.  I cannot wait to read more of her blog and it makes me even more jazzed to read the book!

“Wish I’d Read That” Challenge

| rachelhamm

Found this cool challenge thanks to miss Corra over at from the desk of a writer.

So for 2010, I’m going to aim to read 10 books I’ve been wanting/meaning to read for a while.  For the most part, these are all books that have been sitting untouched on my bookshelf for a while since I purchased or borrowed them.

There are four levels to the challenge:

— Curious – Read 3 books.

— Fascinated – Read 6 books.

— Addicted – Read 12 books.

— Obsessed – Read 20 books.

I’m going to aim for somewhere between Fascinated and Addicted, so here’s ten for starters:

1.) The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (my mom has been begging me to read this FOREVER)

2.) The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce

3.) Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote (my cousin bought me this for Christmas last year!)

4.) Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes (the largest book on the list- it’s DAUNTING.  No wonder I haven’t read it yet!)

5.) The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (borrowed from my brother a LONG time ago.  He probably doesn’t know I still have it!  It’s okay though, he doesn’t really read 🙂 )

6.) The Wings of the Dove by Henry James

7.) Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray

8.) The Choice by Nicholas Sparks (a bit of a guilty pleasure, but I don’t honestly feel guilty about it… another recommended read by my mother- who has asked me not to mention her on my blog.  Hmmm… I’m not a very good daughter, I guess)

9.) The Bostonians by Henry James

10.) Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy (started this one after my semester as an English Lit semi-grad student, and couldn’t get into it.  Here’s hoping I’ll have better luck this time around!)

As always, this is probably a bit of a lofty goal for me, considering that I need to re-start querying Twenty-Five, get started at a new job (oh, I have some prospects, keep your fingers crossed for me), and finish at least one of the other five books I’ve started writing, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t put all kinds of crazy pressure on myself!